DESPAIR

What do we fear? Our life just took a huge turn and everything seems trapped from how it's gonna be now. I fear that another day goes by, we'd get one less grieving people, I fear that they would forget about her, how she used to be and what kind of an amazing person she ever was, I feel that I'm never gonna get over this and as reality sets in, I fear that one day I'm finally gonna be able to. I don't want to! how egotistical I could be when I get insanely frustrated when I see people getting by and going on with their lives while some of us are crying out for a life who can never be with us anymore. It's easier to put the blame on anybody just so you could sugarcoat the bitterness inside you, destroying all the exceptional intentions you've put out for the good of others. To be honest, I even came to the point where I questioned the Man above for letting something like this to happen, I could think of a thousand ways how this shouldn't have taken effect, my desperation comes in when I couldn't think of even one acceptable reason why it did. You see, people always tell what's inevitable. It's easy for them to say that this right here has a reason. Yeah maybe there is, maybe. but it doesn't change how we feel about it, it doesn't even gives us some sort of relief from being torn apart because there's always gonna be the question "why?". Why does it have to be this way? why does one innocent life who fear God in all the ways have to suffer in a horrific way for a downfall? What could possibly the good that will come out of this for everybody when we are all crippled by the abominable thought of what happened, how could we even begin to try to move on from here when we all feel perished day after day.