DENIAL

At first we contradict what's right in front of us, we limit our awareness about the reality of what has happened until the pain can be let in more slowly. The feeling of everything from within shouts "NO!" and our mind forcefully struggles to escape. It disables us to tolerate the pain that would explode if reality were faced. We'd feel numb and confused, I don't even know where do I go from here. I feel fastened, disorganized, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry out all the pain in the most reassuring way until I dried out of tears left to give, I lost touch of what's normal to life. I see nothing in life which is as important anymore than having that one precious person's life back. it hurts like dying slowly in the most painful manner just to realize that you aren't dying at all.